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Communication 

We all know communication is key. Many couples come to me saying they want to improve communication in their relationship, they don't feel heard, understood, or respected. They have cycles of unhealthy fighting and are worried about the impact on the kids, worried about their growing dissatisfaction with their partner, thoughts about divorce, and frustration at repeated fights that have no resolution. 

What we do

Communication is not just about skill work. Its inherently about trust, vulnerability, and ability to be honest and open with the other without feeling attacked, belittled, shut out, or pushed away. Gottman method is about building up the trust between you so that you can be deeply vulnerable and be understood, accepted, and lifted up by your partner. We learn and apply the skills together: Instead of being Critical (attacking) be learn to ask for things we need in a loving way so that it will land well and work, Instead of being Defensive we learn to take personal responsibility for our limitation, instead of being overwhelmed and shutting down we learn to self calm and establish healthy boundaries/expectations, Instead of belittling each other we learn to be fond of and admire one another. Those are the 4 main negative patterns and their antidotes. We all do the negative stuff, those patterns act as defense mechanism to keep us safe, unfortunately safe by isolating us, pushing the threat away, not resolving issues and increasing understanding for long term stable friendship. 

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With Gottman communication work, you learn to understand and apply the positive patterns, treat one another with love, and level up your communication so the friendship can thrive. 

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It will lead to: Shared meaning/regular emotional connection, Shared vision of the future, Deep understanding of one another (dreams, worries, needs, fears, hopes, worst enemies, best friends, cherished memories, style of play, personality breakdown, dating desires, physical intimacy desires)  

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